Her Healing Season Part 1

A Personal Testimony:

This first part of our journey together is going to be about forgiveness. I have a lot of things I held onto for decades, that made me bitter, angry, and hateful. I mean I had every right, didn't I? I could never make long term friends because my mom always moved us around in schools. She would chase men around who weren't good for her and not only did it affect her, but also me and my siblings. I remember moving to Florida when I was 7, I lived with my mom, older brother, grandmother, and step-grandfather. My mom was pregnant at the time, the guy she had gotten pregnant by went to prison for aggravated armed robbery. During our time in Florida, my mom and grandmother worked at a shop on the cruise ship pier where tourists would come in, we lived on an island called Key West. My bedroom was up a ladder in a loft, my mom's bed was in the living room and all we had was a bathroom where we would wash our dishes in the tub and cooked on a hot plate. I vividly remember staring down from the loft and watching my mom bringing over strange men to sleep with them, I watched her and my grandmother do cocaine, and in the midst of all this, when they went to work, my step-grandfather was left to watch over me. We played lots of games together- but not the normal games a little girl and her grandfather play. They were games that involved taking my innocence away, being exposed to things no child should have to witness or be taught. Nicknaming private areas with pretty flower names, playing tug of war with certain body parts, so much more that I'm only detailing to let you know- if this was something you went through, I did too. We moved to Texas when I was 8 and I'll post more blogs to further tell more of my story. It wasn't until I was 14 when I came out about it and my family thought I lied about it. They said no it can't be true, you waited too long, he's too nice, blah blah blah. Which led to blaming myself, thinking I was the problem, everything was my fault - and that I wasn't good enough.

Understanding Forgiveness

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things God asks us to walk through. Especially in a situation where we are vulnerable, innocent, and unable to protect ourselves. This wasn't a "small hurt" it is a violation that can shape how we see ourselves, others, and how some people view God. Forgiveness is possible because God heals places we can't touch. Psalm 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." You can forgive and still speak the truth of what happened, you can forgive and still protect the child you once were. Setting boundaries is not unforgiveness - it's wisdom. God never asks you to heal alone, He walks every step with you. Forgiveness acknowledges that God saw everything, even when others didn't and He will deal with it. The offender does not escape God's justice; Luke 12:2 "Nothing is hidden that will not be made known." Molestation wounds the soul as much as the body. The enemy uses trauma to plant shame, fear, and self-blame. Forgiveness breaks those chains and invites God's truth to replace the lies. Forgiveness isn't about removing the memory. It's about removing the power that memory holds over you. Forgiveness is not the end of your healing - it is the beginning of your freedom.

The Role of Self-Compassion

Speak to yourself the way you'd speak to a wounded child. Because that's exactly who was hurt - the child you used to be. Self-compassion says: "You didn't deserve that, you were just a child. It wasn't your fault." Give yourself grace, healing doesn't happen overnight. There is no timeline for trauma recovery. Self-compassion honors every step, even the steps that feel small or backwards. Challenge the lies the enemy speaks to you with God's truth. You say you are damaged, but God says Psalm 139:14 "You are fearfully and wonderfully made." Where the enemy says, "You should have stopped it." God says "You were a child. You were innocent." Where the enemy says, "You are too broken, you can never love or be loved, be fearful of those who hurt you." It is said in 2 Timothy, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." Forgiveness softens our heart and makes the chaos in our mind quieter, and God's voice becomes clearer.

Self-compassion involves:

• Acknowledging pain without judgment

• Speaking to oneself with encouragement instead of criticism

• Allowing time to rest and recover without guilt.

Creating a Supportive Environment

Social support is equally important. Trusted friends, family members, or support groups provide encouragement and understanding. Sharing experiences with others who have walked similar paths can reduce feelings of isolation. A supportive environment becomes a place where fear loosens its grip, shame loses its voice, and healing begins to bloom.

A supportive environment can begin in your home. It is one that protects, nurtures, listens, honors the heart, and trusts God's promise He has for us.

"Get over it. It's in the past. At least it wasn't worse. Stop being dramatic." NO. Your feelings DO make sense. You don't have to hold this alone, and you ARE safe to express what's on the inside. When you feel emotionally safe, healing accelerates. God hears you. When Christ is at the center, the atmosphere shifts, chains begin to break, we cancel fear set against us from the enemy.

Recognizing Small Victories

Healing is a series of small steps rather than giant leaps. Celebrating small victories builds confidence and motivation.

Dear Heavenly Father, I ask that you lift every broken-hearted woman up to You today. forgive them so they can forgive others. Let them love themselves so they can love you, Lord. Remind them that they are not broken, damaged goods, fearful, unlovable, or unforsaken. That they are right where they need to be, and You are right there along with us. Take their pain and anger in their hearts and fill it with peace today, Lord. We see you are moving and we have faith in your promise. In your sons holy name Jesus, Amen.